It surprises me at how much of an impact it has had on my life. Thinking of this time last year is baffling to me. I was still struggling with my health problems that seemed that would never end. Then when the realization hit me that I was feeling healthier and almost 'normal' again was quite surprizing to me. That's all it took? Going to seminary? That's it? Seminary seems like such a small thing that wouldn't make that much difference, but to me it made a world of a difference. Not only was I being spiritually strengthened but PHYSICALLY. I would not have truely believed that it was possible. But, one thing that I have learned is that 'with God all things are possible'. From last years experience I knew that I definetely wanted to help in special needs seminary again this year. It has been a blessing. We are studying the New Testiment this year. I am already fairly familiar with New Testiment from taking it my first year of seminary but I have learned as lot more this year than I would have thought I would. I'm thankful for this. I have fully enjoyed studying Christ's life and am more appreciative of what he has done for me. We had Testimony meeting on Wedensday. I haven't borne my testimony in front of a group in a while for a number of reasons. I hate to admit this but lately part of me began to question whether it was all true.It was a big battle inside myself; struggling between the part that knew with certainty that it was true and the small part that doubted. I guess we all have this trial of our faith in our lives but i don't think I was prepared for me to question so much. Thankfully, seminary has helped reassure me that it IS true. All of it. I am proud to say "I'm a mormon! I KNOW it, I live it, I love it!" -Sister Dawson, October 2012 General Conference.
Now during the testimony meeting, my mind was reeling. I found myself asking within myself 'what is holding you back?' to that I responded with a weak reply 'I don't want to vry in front of the group' which is one of those traits of mine that I dont appreciate as much. You see when I cry (and i usually do when talking about my testimony or other things that are close to my heart) my heart races, i get shakey, and I cam hardly talk. So in my mind that was a logical reason to not bear my testimony. But even then there was still the nudge of the Holy Ghost wanting me to convinceyself to go up and share my testimony. So my mind turned to President Monsons advice of standing up for your beliefs even if your the only one and I adkef myself ' If Jesus Christ was hear wouldn't he want me to testify of him? This is one way that I can repay him and maybe it can even strengthen others wavering testimonies.' I foumd myself standing and once I was up, there was no stopping. I went up and fumbled through the tears and shaking and shared my testimony. Im not sure if anyone could understand what I was trying to say but it doesn't really matter. It felt so good to share it again. I am very grateful for the little nudge of the spirit and the opportunity that I had that day.
So if your faith is struggling just know that there is always an end. If we trust in Christ, he will help us through our trials.
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