I feel a need to write. The last few weeks have not been easy for me. Dealing with our puppies having parvo and other issues. They have stressed me out and gotten me down. Some of my insicurities are coming back and I don't like it. It's been hard for me to face them with a positive attitude. It seems when I try to let go of the past and get over a trial, something keeps that trial in my life. Maybe there is something bigger that I need to learn from this, but I just can't seem to find that lesson.
You know that song "Mean" by Taylor Swift? I feel like that explains my feelings from the last couple of weeks. (If you haven't listened to it, I suggest you do.)
I want to be a happy outgoing person who can just let go and have fun. But it's hard for me right now. I just want to break down, cry, and sleep for days. That's not going to help this situation though is it?
I'm trying to look at trials with this quote in mind:
"Don't be bitter, be BETTER!"
I don't know how to put things without offending someone or putting something the wrong way. It is never my intent to hurt people but I feel like I'm getting blamed for something I didn't do. When I voice my opinion about the situation it seems like it just gets worse. On the other hand, If I keep my feelings to myself, It just gets worse. So what do I do? Truthfully I'm still lost.
People have said to drop the situation but I'm just having a tremendously hard time with it. It's been hard trying to voice my opinions and them be shot down before I can get my whole view out.
Again, these are just MY thoughts and feelings. I have no intent on blaming others. I'm sorry if I'm hurting someones feelings putting this on my blog but it is MY blog. Not someone elses. I NEED my feelings out and I need someone else to read this so I feel like I'm not alone in all of this.
I'm very very grateful for those of you who I have already talked to and have been supportive. I know your there for me.
So for this week, I'm going to try my hardest to look for the better. To count all the blessings that I have. For all the special moments that I have of my life. Of lessons that are out there waiting for me to hear them and learn from them.
p.s.- all puppies are doing okay now.
This post is for me. thats all. Take it or leave it. I needed it.
